He's sitting and I never see his face anymore and I dont want to look and when i do theres his face and his heads kind of dispraportionate looking today i wonder if it always was or maybe its the shape of his hair that changes how his face looks but i dont really know why i even care and then my arm and i held it after and i missed him and walking i felt it again and i could remeber the day i forgot and there were so many but it was so long ago i shouldnt care anymore and i dont want to but i want to keep caring and i remembered the snow and the black and pink stripes and the cold which i love i love winter and the cold felt nice on my face as usual and he was there with me we were climbing and falling and running back when i was more than he was. And now hes cold and hes warm and its like hes my edward or something stupid like that like in the book cause hes cold and hes HOT like him hes soo hot but i dont actually like him but i want him and its all opposite like two different worlds but i guess theyre different people and after that class i never wanted to let go and i didnt know what id be listening but im so pathetic that clinging on like that felt nice and i want to be able to do that all the time and i want to curl up and hide inside someone else who isnt me because i hate when i hide but i cant come out because im too stupidly shy for an extrovert. And i really should make a bit of an effort to use proper grammar and sentences here but it wont work and it wont be real and i already knew all this and i was going to make a poem or something arsty trying to say how i felt but im so mixed up and im lonely and i dont know how i feel and this isnt helping at all and i just want to wrap up inside and be warm and happy like the magazines ha ha i hate how people say im like that im not at all i never would be is it so horrible im starting to kind of like the way i look im so stressed i should be doing homework i need to find out how i feel but my brain's developping and im confused and lost inside my own head and im trying to rip out of my skin and show everyone who i am but i guess if my body doesnt want me to show them me maybe they aerent worth showing after all they probably wouldnt understand god i hate drama class. Wheres my family no ones home but im so happy it worked and that was the only one that ever mattered and the only one that ever came true and im so glad they love eachother again as far as i know but im so happy that that prayr came true and theyre amazing and hi mom i have to go.
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