The Ignoring.
The Forgetting.
The Avoiding.
The Replacing.
1+1+1+1=4 times.
That's been four periods of agony. Of tears and choking and runny noses. Of depressing blog posts like this one. Of overplayed sad songs on my ipod. Of bitchiness and angst. Of scattered pieces and missing chunks.
I'm hoping I can keep it at four, because that's a new record per boy. It's not the kind of record I like setting.
I'm hoping I can set the good kind of record next time. A big fat zero is what I'm after. But if I'm being honest, I think I've given up hope on myself. I don't think I'm capable of a zero.
But I don't think I'm capable of even another 1.
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2 comments:
A thought: relationships (or potential ones) are never nearly as wonderful and good if there isn't some hurt to go along with them.
So maybe we need to cry sometimes to realize how much we love someone.
Very true, again. I guess nothing's perfect, and if things were perfect we wouldn't appreciate them.
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