Unhappy Confessions

Face it Andrea, all the people you love would rather be with someone else right now. You're nobody's favorite. And the fact that you want that so badly makes it certain that you don't deserve to be anyone's favorite after all. Just let them all go.

And you know it.

I know I'm not deserving of your trust from you right now,
But if by chance you change your mind you know I will not let you down
'cause we were the special two, and we'll be again.

Miss ya.

Don't get worried when I change the topic from him. I know it's unlike me, okay? I'm usually all gushy and mushy. It's just a bit hard to do this again, no matter how little. I'm not some damaged individual, I mean I know it was mostly my own fault. I just want you to understand that there's something really painful about it right now, and as brave as he said I was, I'm not when it comes to this. I'm only just starting to let myself feel again. I don't want to push it and go through everything that I'm trying to forget all over again. I'm tentatively starting to come back to life inside, and I don;t think I'm up to much activity right now.

Just Afraid

It's not my fault, it's only logical that after you get up from a bad fall, you find it hard to throw yourself back down again, in the hopes that someone will catch you this time. It's hard to keep that same level of trust, when you had so little of it to start with. It's not my fault.

Afraid of Jumping

Sure I'd want to.

I'd LOVE to.

I know how now, I could use the new me.

But why would I?

It might be great and amazing.

But I'm finding it so hard to remember the good times,

When I barely see him,

When I've lost a friend, 

And when I can still feel the loss inside.

I'm newer and shiner and happier,

But I'm more scared than ever,

Of failing like I did before,

And like what's expected to happen.

Nothing Works

Sometimes when you've been trying forever and nothing is happening, you need to tear off your clothes and write on your chest in eyeliner.

Then even if you don't feel better, you at least feel like you've finally shoved some of the turmoil out of youre body and in to art.

She misses it, and she's discovering it, she doesn't know what it is, it makes her uncomfortable, she's feeling it, she takes advantage of it, she's been safe in it for a very long time, and I couldn't possibly, but I seem to know how they all feel, because we're all just females experiencing a form of attraction, right?

Dissapointment?

I sit down at the end of the day, and I say "So, you have some stuff to write about."

But then, how do I write it down so that it's true? What if I can feel things changing already?

I need a way to accurately express how I feel.

This isn't it.

Falling

Being shoved over and over again, and each time she hits the floor she falls harder. She doesn't mind though, because she hopes that eventually she wont have to get up again, and she can just lay there comfortably forever.