It's the feeling of being terrified and ecstatic at the same time.
Scarier than being singled out in front of everyone, scarier than the centre of the circle.
Worst nightmares and wildest dreams.
Though it's mainly just suffering.
How can you force me to go through this?
To wrap my arms around him tight and not let go.
To put my hand on his bare chest and feel his heartbeat.
To smile when he smiles at me and laugh when he laughs.
It's just the same old situation, but just a lot more amazing and inconvenient at the same time.
And I don't want to stop.
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