He is not a waste of time. How could you possibly say that?

Let Me

Right now, I'll be your therapist.

I'll be your friend.

I'll be your best friend.

I'll be your crutch.

Your fucking artificial legs.

I can be your soft landing.

Your sanctuary.

Hold me as tight as you want,

I wont mind.

I'll shush you and love you,

Because I can be your lover,

I can be yours.

I already am, and you know it.

Just reminding you.

I love you, I love you, I love you. I KNOW that's true.

Then why am I so unhappy? 

I genuinely don't know.

I should be ecstatic, and I am, usually.

It's just that sometimes when we're talking, not in person, online, I feel really sad.

I don't think I should be fighting tears whenever we have conversations.

I desperately need to know what's wrong.

I need to fix this.

So, you're a person, and I'm a person. And I used to kind of sort of think I loved you. I don't know, I was very attached to a couple traits of yours. There was an awkward situation though.

I'm in love with someone new now. Actually. To be perfectly honest with myself, I never did love you like that.

Anyways what I'm really getting at is, I haven't talked to you for a pretty long time. Which is kind of sad, as you're quite a cool person. Really. So I'm happy after these past couple of weeks I can call you a friend again.

I know it's no big deal, it just isn't something I've ever encountered with someone I've spent so much time thinking about. So I don't know what my point is here, but I'm happy about it.

This is getting awkward now.

Baby steps.

Oh. Okay. Doubt gone. I didn't reveal it to anyone, but for a while there I was seriously wondering if I made a huge mistake in saying something like that so soon. Maybe I did say it too soon. Maybe I didn't fully mean it.

I do now. Congratulations, Mr.

This time I'm certain, this time I'm telling the truth.

I don't want to gush, but I'm about to.

I know I don't show you how much I love you. I'm a little shy still.

I'm pretty sure you can tell anyways.

I can't think of any other reason I could spend hours doing nothing more than tracing the contours of your face. Or how I could catch myself so often just looking at you and looking and looking until reality returns, and I'm pleased to notice you're still there. I'm not sure how else I could stand by you so resolutely, silently but resiliently, when the world doesn't understand. It's a big thing for someone as insecure as I, but I couldn't contemplate any alternative.

I'll be here who knows how long or short a period of time, but while I'm here, I will be here. I might be a little quiet, seem a little cold at times, but I want you to know (and I think you do) that I love you.

I mean it this time. You can see the warmth inside.

unnecessary

I love you. You. Just you. The way you... are.
I loved you when you had floppy hair, I love you now it's short.
I'll love you, baggy jeans or skinny.
I'm going to love you whether you do push-ups or not, whether you do sit-ups or not.
It's sweet, but I love YOU. Just you. Everything you.