Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I Want to be SCARY.

When I get mad, when I go in to one of those terrifying fits of undiluted rage that happen sometimes, I don't WANT to keep it inside, only letting a couple remarks out. I don't WANT to be icy cold, calm and controlled.

I want to SCREAM and SWEAR and THROW THINGS and I want people to be AFRAID of making my ANGRY!
I WANT people to be TERRIFIED of me! I want to show people that, yes, I AM FURIOUS. And I want them to SUFFER. I want to actually SAY the things I know would hurt them. I want to SCREAM them at them and I DON'T WANT TO CARE if I hurt they're feelings. I want to go up to the people who've hurt me and scream in their faces how FAT, SELF-ABSORBED, STUPID, ANNOYING, MALICIOUS, or FUCKED-UP they are. And then I'll slap they're faces for good measure and march off, maybe I'll kick a few things on the way. And then maybe I'll SCREAM for a bit and run down the street and people will be AFRAID to approach me, because I'm SO violent and unpredictable when I'm in one of those moods.

But instead, sit there. I say, "I see,"and "Ah," and I politely walk off to my bedroom where I write in my blog about how angry I am. Not making any sound other than the violent tapping of a keyboard.

GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

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