I want to forget this whole thing, and I don't ever want to think about what you said to me ever again. I don't ever want to fight with you again, except the only way to do that would probably be to just... leave... you... I can't do that. I don't know if I'd rather hear you say "fuck you" a thousand more times or listen to you tell me to go away and leave you alone and to just stop talking more than I'd rather never get to touch you again. I am completely incapable of cutting you out of my life. You haven't trapped me, you haven't forced me to love you so much that I can't escape. I just don't want to leave, so much to the point that I am physically incapable of going. Without you I'm destroyed, which is selfish of me, but I just can't function when we're on terms like this. All I want right now, is for you to come back, and to forgive me, and to promise that you'll never put me down like that again. I've already forgiven you, and I've already apologized. You say you want me to fix this one, but I don't know how I'm supposed to do that. It was my fault to start with, but if you care about me as much as you say, and I feel you do, then you would never do that to me again.

/hardcore mind-vomit @ the boy I love

Whom am I asking?

People say you either love someone or you don't, there is no in-between. If you aren't sure, you aren't in love and you get scraped out of the gray area and pushed into the bin for not-in-love people.


It's just that, I've never been able to make up my mind, I've never been able to drop down neatly in to a... decision? A category? A bin? Does my comfortable gray area really have to disappear with this one thing? I don't see why.


Can uncertainty be allowed, just for me?

I only ever seem to write about you anymore.

Three months and three days ago I said, "I'm not very good at this."

At the time I really wished I hadn't, I thought I'd spoiled the moment.

Today I'm really glad I gave you some warning before you had to deal with me.

You aren't making me happy.

And so continues the tradition of tears on valentines day.
I'm getting snot on your sweater.

He is not a waste of time. How could you possibly say that?

Let Me

Right now, I'll be your therapist.

I'll be your friend.

I'll be your best friend.

I'll be your crutch.

Your fucking artificial legs.

I can be your soft landing.

Your sanctuary.

Hold me as tight as you want,

I wont mind.

I'll shush you and love you,

Because I can be your lover,

I can be yours.

I already am, and you know it.

Just reminding you.